Don't say "YES"when you want to say "NO"

Tell me if this sounds familiar -- someone asks you to do something that you really don't want to do or you honestly don't have time for. It might be a request or an unreasonable request from a friend, a neighbour, a close relative, a family member, your office colleague or your boss for just working late. But you feel like you will let the other person down if you say no. You feel GUILTY already, and you haven't even responded yet! So you say, "Sure," even though doing so is going to put you under tremendous stress and PRESSURE. You know that you will probably end up resenting this activity, and maybe even ducking some of your responsibilities because your heart's just not in it, but you go ahead andagree anyway. Why are we so afraid to tell people "NO"? For some reason, we have been taught that "no" is DISRESPECTFUL -- and even insulting. We seem to value other people's time more than our own -- feeling that we need to bend overbackward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us. I know we're atoning for the "me" 1980's, but let's be reasonable! "No" is actually one of the healthiest words that can come out of your mouth. When you tell someone "no," you are really saying that you understand and accept your own LIMITS, and don't want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself. That you value your time and priorities and aren't willing to take away from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life! So how do you say "NO" without insulting the other person, feeling consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a way to say "no" without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS -- they'll think I'm lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I'm not ambitious, that I have no concern for other people. And it's time to give up all of those roles you're so proud of -- superman, martyr, hero -- but are keeping you from finding true peace. Once you've accepted that you have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do it in a way that doesn't seem like a REJECTION. Let me show you how: Here are 20 ways to say "NO" without hurting others

"I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER"
"I'M REALLY NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB"
"I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY ROOM IN MY CALENDAR RIGHT NOW"
"I CAN'T, BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THE NAME OF SOMEONE WHO CAN"
"I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT"
"I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS AND CAN'T SPARE THE TIME"
"I'VE HAD A FEW THINGS COME UP AND I NEED TO DEAL WITH THOSE FIRST"
"I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN END UP DOING A MEDIOCRE JOB"
"I'M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE RIGHT NOW"
"I'M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW"
"I REALLY DON'T ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK"
"I CAN'T, BUT I'M HAPPY TO HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK"
"I'VE LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT THIS REALLY ISN'T MY STRONG SUIT"
"I'M SURE YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB ON YOUR OWN"
"I DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT, SO I CAN'T HELP YOU"
"I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT"
"I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG TOO MANY PROJECTS"
"I'M COMMITTED TO LEAVING SOME TIME FOR MYSELF IN MY SCHEDULE"
"I'M NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW PROJECTS RIGHT NOW"


or a simple, straight, direct "NO"

Glass of water

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?'

'50gms!' ... '100gms!' .....'125gms' .....the students answered.


'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'


'Nothing' the students said.


'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.


'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.


'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'


'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student & all the students laughed.


'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked the professor.

'No'


'Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?' The students were puzzled.


'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.


'Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they Begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before You go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'